


Remembrance

by DuoUkes



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Major Character Injury, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:48:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24223045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuoUkes/pseuds/DuoUkes
Summary: SEASON 5 SPOILERS AHEAD"Why are you like this? Why do you always have to sacrifice everything for everyone else? When do you get to choose?""I am the only one who can."As Horde Prime makes his final move to get to the Heart of Etheria, Adora decides it is time for one last sacrifice. It was never about her after all- it was about Etheria and its people, her friends... and mostly about Catra. She didn't get the chance to say goodbye. But a farewell by letter is little better than no farewell at all, right?
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 150





	1. Peaceful remember

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction for "She-ra and the princess of power", so I hope you enjoy it! I am sucker for angsty stuff and season 5 had so much of it, but still wasn't enough for me. Some of my inspiration came from the Youtube channel exurb1a.

_Dear Catra,_

_Where do I even start from?_

* * *

Shadow Weaver was dead. This was the only thing Adora was sure of, even in her delirious state. It was both tragic and relieving to know, that this amoral person, the mother figure in her their life, that manipulated and abused them, was no longer. Shadow Weaver was a memory of their past and now, as Catra was dragging her to the Heart of Etheria, Adora decided to give herself a moment with her thoughts and to value what just happened. Shadow Weaver had always been downright abusive and power thirsty, so why did Adora felt tears in her eyes? She shouldn't be grieving for the person that caused them so much pain. To her and... and to Catra.

Growing up in the Horde always meant physical scarring, but Shadow Weaver made sure to also petrify them for life. To make sure her words would never be forgotten and would forever haunt those who heard them. To enforce unnecessary fear. To hide behind her motherly figure in order to show them twisted affection. She never loved them.

So why now? Why sacrifice herself for them? Why try to be the hero, when she will be gone? And why was this self-sacrifice scaring Adora so much? 

Was she scared when she did it? Would Adora be scared when she had to do it herself. Was this heroic suicide worthy the unknown world after death? The peace of her friends? 

At this moment Adora knew that she wasn't really thinking about Shadow Weaver. Maybe she was grieving for her somewhere in the back of her mind, but mostly she was trying to deal with the fear of what was coming.

"We are almost there. Just focus everything you have on walking" Catra's voice echoed in the corridor, reaching Adora's ears in a strange tone- like she was listening to her friend from underwater. It was strangely soothing, almost numbing the pain enough for Adora to tolerate it. She could feel their pace slowing and she tried so hardly to not lean onto Catra so much. She had to be strong enough for her friend right now. Right now, even if she knew that her friends were fighting against Horde Prime's army on the surface, she decided to concentrate on Catra. Not Glimmer, not Bow, but Catra. Her very best friend. Her reason for working harder while in the Horde. Her biggest weakness when they were enemies. The person who had given her enough courage to face Horde Prime. They were once kids also- and even then Catra was the world for Adora. She never understood it back than, only thinking it was simple friendship. But now she was able to give it a name. It was love. And Adora was going to insure that Catra will live through this. The love of her live deserved this. 

* * *

_It might sound creepy, but I watched you sleep last night (or the very least I thought it was night, because we were in space and it is hard to keep track of time there). I believed that removing the chip from you will give you enough peace to for a well-deserved rest, but none of this. You were trashing around, sweating and mumbling something. I tried calming you, but you were too petrified in your dream. So I started talking to you. I talked and talked about our time in the Horde. About how used to roam around that place, liked it belonged to us. How we talked about taking over the world with one hand, as long as our other hands were holding each other. How we would draw our future in a sweet lullaby tone- a future of rest, and quiet, and love. How we shared the same exhaustion after training, but even then, when out limbs and lungs were all done, we would run around and truly live a life. Because somehow we understood that beyond the storm we knew the sun._

* * *

She looked at Catra when she felt her friend's grip on her arm. Somehow Catra had always been able to understand when someone was in pain as if she could also feel it. Because even when Adora would put a brave face, Catra would always see trough it and know that she was having problems. Now was the same.

Adora's vision was slightly blurry, but even than she was able to see the magnificent source of light and warm in front of them. She couldn't hide a gasp, but so did Catra. Before them, all in blue and yellow glory, flowed the Heart of Etheria. Even if it was a weapon, there was so much beauty to it- almost erasing the scary part about it. 

"The Heart of Etheria," Adora said quietly. "We made it."

It was then that she felt Catra's grasp leaving her, forcing her to stand strong on her own legs. Adora breathed in slowly, almost hearing her heart racing in her chest, as if she had a running exercise in the Hoard. She desperately tried calming herself down and not to bother with the strange green liquid that was slowing rinsing her body. She took one step forward, then another, fighting against the burning pain that was coming from the laceration on her side. But she fought against it and with raised her hand confidently in the air in order to summon She-ra. She had to do it, she needed She-ra. It was her only chance of surviving. And she, acting all selfless and brave, didn't wanted to die. Even with Catra by her side, Adora didn't want to leave that world. Not today. 

The veins on her hand turned green upon trying to summon the sword. Suddenly her hand froze, like it wasn't there at all and no more than a second later it burst in indescribable pain. Adora screamed, taking a step backward, only to end in Catra's arms. 

"What is it? What's wrong?" Catra asked her frankly with fear in her voice. 

"I don't... I don't know. I can't transform," Adora said petrified, tears starting to form in her eyes. Her friend looked at her with nothing but pure horror at the realization of what might happen next. But an explosion somewhere above them stopped both of them at their places. The ceiling was turning dark green, rumbling around the the Heart. Adora almost felt her heart sinking in her stomach, a twisted cooper taste on her lips. She suddenly came to a realization. 

"It's Prime's virus. It's keeping me from becoming She-ra."

"What does this mean?" Catra almost screamed by her side. "Is the Failsafe not going to work without her?"

Adora closed her eyes, trying not to cry. The Failsafe was warming her chest, glowing slightly. She didn't want it. She wanted to turn back time. To say no. To agree with Catra and not take it. She didn't want to die. 

But the past should be left in the past, right? It was about what was going to happen now. What must happen now, so there could be future. A future for Etheria; for Glimmer and Bow; for all of her princess friends...for Catra. 

"No..." Adora breathed out. "It will work"

* * *

_I hope you don't hate me. You mentioned many times that you don't like me and I am okay with that. I deserve it for every single time I hurt you. But even when we were enemies, I felt something for you. I tried to not harm you, I simply couldn't bring myself to cause you pain. I am sorry that I left you and that I wasn't there for you. I am sorry that you ended up on Horde Prime's ship. I am sorry for everything you went through, because of me. You don't deserve it. You never did. And I am mostly sorry that I wasn't able to protect you, even after I gave you a promise. I hope that one day, just maybe one day, you will find the strength to forgive me. Because I am truly sorry, Catra._

* * *

So this was it? She was really going to do it? Brave face on, tears almost forgotten, Adora raised her head, not daring to look at Catra. Her friend didn't deserve what was coming. And Adora, even when she was so terrified, wasn't going to allow it.

"Get as far away from here as you can. I have to do the next part on my own." Adora told her in a brave tone, with a slight feeling of deja-vu, because she also told the exact same thing to Bow and Glimmer not so long ago. She tried to hide her pain and how truly scared she was. But Catra was... Catra and she almost immediately started piecing the stuff together.

"Adora, what is going to happen to you?"

'No Catra. Don't ask. Just go. Please. It will be so much easier. You don't have to suffer,' Adora thought to herself, but she also knew, that Catra wouldn't leave without answer. So with faked bravery, that was so obvious, Adora told her.

"Without She-ra, the magic will destroy me. I am sorry, Catra."

And finally her tears came to the surface, showing her true fears. Showing just how vulnerable Adora was. She was no hero- she was a simple human. And as a human, she cried when she was scared. She was scared about leaving Catra, even when her friend will finally be at peace. After everything she did to her, every single moment of torment inflicted upon Catra, Adora knew, that her love deserves to be saved. But the last thing she wanted was to reassure that Catra knew just how much she craved for her forgiveness.

"I am so sorry. But there is no more time. It has to end here. I can still save everybody."

'I can still save you, Catra.'

* * *

_I never felt pain when you would scratch me. Even when we were younger and you weren't able to control just how much you used your claws. I just knew that deep inside you never meant to hurt me. Just like I never wanted to harm you. So if there is any anxious thoughts about this in your head, know that I have forgiven you long time ago. I almost lost you on Horde Prime' s ship, but no longer. Catra, there are people that are ready to love you. You can have a family. People who will see you as one of their own. Some time ago I wrote you another letter (don't search for it- Swift Wind ate it), where I described you as my enemy. Upon writing it I came to the conclusion, that I no longer had hope for you. No hope that you will see the light and realize that Etheria is a beautiful place. And i was sad. Because i missed you, Catra. I always did._

_But thankfully, I was wrong about you. I am so proud of you, Catra._

* * *

"It's okay," Adora stated. "I am ready."

She wasn't really, but there was no point of showing it to Catra right now.

Without even knowing when Adora had gone close to Catra, resting her forehead on hers, gently touching her cheeks. And just as she was about to step back, Catra trapped her hands into her own.

"No." Catra suddenly said.

"Catra..." 

"No! I am not leaving. Whatever happens, I am staying with you."

Adora wanted to cry. To scream at Catra to leave. She was even ready to say a lie, big enough to hurt Catra and make her go away. 

But in the same time Adora was relieved. She wasn't going to be alone in this. So she decided to not protest against Catra's decision. Besides they didn't have time. 

So standing beside her best friend, by the only person she truly trusted with her life, Adora felt ready. 

* * *

_Catra, the sun is coming. And so is the new day. I hope that when this happens, I will get to stand beside you._

* * *

The Failsafe suddenly warmed her chest, sending searing pain, unlike any she felt today. Adora let out a scream, falling to the cold floor. Her own heart felt like it was working slower, not working enough to keep her going. The virus was somehow attacking the Failsafe.

"Adora?' she heard Catra's fearful voice. It felt like an eternity until Catra turned her from her side, to her back. And then suddenly Adora was in her arms. But her inside was screaming, her chest was craving in, slowly destroying her. Adora struggled against her invincible enemy.

"No, no, no. No! No!" Catra hold her tight. 

* * *

_But if not, then still look for the sun. You will be so surprised of how warm it is._

* * *

A loud crack behind them brought their attention back to the Heart. A single green bean, looking like a lightning, hit the Heart with brutal force. So this was it? Horde Prime actually got the weapon. Adora felt herself going limp in Catra's grasp. She was trying to fight everything going inside of her, but to no avail. Adora was terrified of what was going to happen next, but mostly she felt shame. Shame that she failed everyone. 

"Adora. Adora, stay awake!"

Catra. Oh, dear Catra. She was trying. Death is a scary thing. 

She felt Catra's hand on her cheek, caressing her gently. Adora desperately wanted this action to bring her peace, to reassure her. It wasn't happening. She was dying, full of regret and unfinished business. She hoped that her friends would forgive her for this. So sorry... So sorry...

Catra was now screaming her name, but Adora wasn't able to hear it so much. Her ears were ringing. So that was it. A miserable way to go. She fought to stay awake, to find some strength and to fix stuff, but here was it- the long going under. Letting go, Adora closed her eyes.

* * *

_Glimmer told me about how brave you were on the ship. I remember thinking the same, when we talked. When you said you were sorry, for everything. Thank you Catra. Thank you for reminding me of the old you. And for allowing me to see the new you._

* * *

"A beautiful wish. But there will be no future. Not for you!" Horde Prime told her, his eyes destroying her imaginary surroundings. She saw the most beautiful future she could wish for- Bow and Glimmer happy together and Catra by her side, looking with all the love she had at her. A future that Adora will never have. And because of her failure, so will nobody else. She tried fighting, tried swimming back to the world of living, but it was to no use. The void was pulling her down, away from everything and everyone. She closed her eyes, welcoming the darkness. Then suddenly:

"Adora! Please! You have to wake up!" 

There was she- her Catra, standing in front of her, ready to catch her. Her Catra- not soldier Catra, not Force Captain Catra, not brainwashed Catra. Her Catra.

"You can't give up. You have never given up on anything in your life. Not even on me... So, don't you dare start now!"

Their hands were getting closer. Adora could almost feel the pull.

"It's too late," Adora was ready to give up. "I've failed."

"No! No!" Catra yelled back. "I got you. I am not letting go."

**'I... can't. I am sorry.'**

"Don't you get it?" Catra locked her eyes to her. **"I love you!"**

* * *

_Catra, I want to tell you something. I always felt this certain thing in the depth of my existence for you. I never understood it, until I talked to Natasso about it. She gave it a beautiful name- love. And she is right. I. Love. You. I love you Catra. i hope you won't find those feeling disgusting. I know that you don't like me. But even when you understand about my truth feelings, even if you don't agree with them, I would ask you to..._

* * *

"I always have!" Catra's voiced echoed in her ears. "So please, just this once..."

* * *

_Stay._

* * *

S.T.A.Y.

All that Adora needed right now. The idea that someone cared so deeply for her, despite all of the pain she had caused. To her, to Glimmer, somehow even to Bow. Adora felt so full of sins. But this one time she felt love. A small trembling voice asking her to come back, to not go away, to stay. And Adora did so.

Even semi-conscious, Adora's build-in reflexes took control, as she lifted her left hand, summoning She-ra's shield. Some strong force hit against it, causing it to disappear and her hand landed on Catra's back. Her eyes felt almost glued together, but she fought against the fog and opened them, only to be met by Catra's heterochromiac stare. Blue and yellow. Just like the Heart. Catra was her weapon. She was enough of a power to numb the pain from the poison and the virus. To fight back. For her friends and family. For her lover.

"You love me?" Adora asked.

"You are such an idiot." Catra giggled slightly.

So here they were. Just the two of them. Like the good old days. But this time fully realized, that they were in love. It felt so... delightful, to say the least. 

And just so sudden, just like the confession, Catra kissed her. It wasn't that big of a deal, but it was enough to feel loved. Warm, welcoming, numbing. Despite the pain from the poison, Adora felt more alive then ever. There was it. This what she was fighting for. Her Catra.

* * *

_Stay, because I have so much more to tell you. Just after this letter. I will tell you all I have. All of my plans for the future, all of my dreams. The mountains we will climb and the seas we will explore. A vacation, just for the two of us. A moment of simple peace._

* * *

She-ra gave her more power then she ever had. She walked slowly, bright with unlimited power, pain-free. She was part of the weapon, but she wasn't a destroyer, but a creator. That's what Mara wanted. That's what both of them deserved. And nothing could stop her. Not even Horde Prime.

She found him on top of the canyon in the body of one of his clones. But she felt it was him. And slowly, guided by the Failsafe heart on her chest, she walked to him. He, of course, saw her coming and started mumbling under his breath:

"Though all is reduced to rubble, Prime shall rise again. So it has been, and so it always shall be."

"No," She-ra said. "You are wrong. It's time for you to go."

Prime may have lived more than any other creature in the universe, but before all he was just simple consciousness. Energy, that can change it's purpose. And know, holding him tight and using She-ra's powers to their maximum, she was giving him another purpose. He was going to be the energy needed for this world to grow. For the nature. No longer evil. And before long, someone's knowing eyes looked at her. Hordak. The person, whom she known as a child. Before he was the bad one, the all powerful. But in the end he was a simple person. Just like his creator and just like Adora.

"I remember you." He told her.

"I know..." She-ra said quietly, before transforming back to Adora.

And then she felt to her knees, slowing rolling to her side. Her heart was no longer beating that fast; it even felt like it was slowing down. The poison from the monster was raging inside of her, but she didn't feel scared this time. Let it be. Everyone was safe now and Adora found peace at that. She was actually ready to go this time. |Catra was going to be mad, but she wasn't going to be around for this. Hopefully Glimmer and Bow were going to be there for her. She-ra filled her purpose. Exhausted and in pain, Adora erased the earlier shame. Did Shadow Weaver also feel that comfortable before going? No pain in her body- just fatigue. It was time for a long sleep. Time to go. Hopefully Catra will somehow find her letter. After all a farewell by letter is little better than no farewell at all. 

Adora closed her eyes. It was time to give in. 

"ADORA!"

* * *

_And if something happens to me, stay once again. There will be people there for you. Who will love you. And remember me as i will you. In hope that one day we will get to meet again. Farewell, Catra._

_Yours forever,_

_Adora_

* * *


	2. The dream of heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Adora, I am so proud of you. Even if I wasn't able to tell you. You did so much for everyone. You did everything. You are the hero non of us deserved."
> 
> Catra just got Adora back. So why is the world so cruel to her?

_Hey Adora,_   
_You are terrible at writing... Please don't to it again._

* * *

Quit.

Catra doesn't know what exactly was going on around her, due to the fact that everything was happening too quickly.

But it was so quit. 

She looks around with confusion, seeing all green and pink; and flowers; and princess walking around and hugging each other. Horde Prime's extraction machine was still there, hovering above them, but it has grown some leaves- it basically looked like a flying tree. Did Adora made it that way? Catra was too busy climbing to the surface, her higher ground, to follow along She-ra's actions, so she decided to believe that this was her creation. So that was it? They won, did they? It was over?

* * *

_It's alright- I knew you were in my room then. But I didn't say a thing, because I wanted you to stay there. I needed you. And I am so thankful that you got my back there and cared so deeply for my stupid ass. I lived alone with myself for long time, believing that one day I will be rewarded for this with power. But instead I got you. And I don't deserve you. I never did._

* * *

But she knows that something has gone terribly wrong when she hears Entrapta's voice booming from somewhere from the top of the canyon. One simple thing.

"Catra! Come here!"

So before the engineer princess could continue, Catra is already climbing her way, her muscles spasming and throbbing. But she doesn't care. She needs to find Adora. It is all about her right now. Involuntarily Catra lets out a whimper upon remembering Adora's injuries. Her chest tightens when her mind replays this small moment of nothing but pure fear, when she thought she had lost her. And she wasn't going to calm down until she was able to see her best friend safe again. A piece of rock suddenly gives in in and she stumbled, almost falling down. But then her feline's instincts kicks in and she locks her claws at the nearby rock for support. One last powerful kick and she is already on the top of the canyon, leaving behind Scorpia's scream. 

There Catra is immediately met by Entrapta's bright eyes, but this time they don't shine with an unhealthy amount of curiosity. This time around Entrapta looks truly shocked, even worse than when she tried to explain to Catra what the Portal will do. Silently Catra pushes her away and her heart snaps at the sight.

"Adora!"

* * *

_When you promised that you will take me home, I still had this side that didn't trust you. You had broken promises in the past, so why now should be different? Besides by this point I have done more than a bunch of mistakes. And to be honest I am quit confused; and alone; and frankly scared. You, Adora, are the single person in the entire universe that believed at me, even if I don't deserve it. Adora, thank you so much._

* * *

Adora was laying on her side not far from her. Suddenly it was once again extremely quit, as Catra lunges forward and sprints to her friend's limp body. She doesn't slow down even when she almost reaches her, instead Catra almost throws herself near Adora. She collapses to her knees and pulls Adora to her lap, trying not to touch the green scratch on her side. Catra didn't understand what was going on. Why didn't She-ra heal Adora? Why is her face still laced with those dark green lacerations? Why is she unconscious? 

"Adora," Catra breaths in. "Come on. I am here. Wake up..."

She holds her closer, grips her so tightly, as if she could heal her that way. Adora's body feels slightly colder and she stays still, her eyes closed. Her chest still rises and falls, but each breath is barely noticeable. Catra shakes her lightly, but when there is no respond, so she reaches out and caresses Adora's cheek with her thumb.

"No..." Catra whispers. "Hang on. We will help. Fix you. Just hang on, Adora. Just stay."

Without realizing Catra starts crying, weeping heavily. She pushes Adora's head to her chest, clutching onto her with all her strength, kissing her forehead lightly. Catra suddenly looks around while forcing herself to actually breath in. Entrapta is still watching them from a few metes away, staying in a shock-like state, instead of being her hyperactive self. Catra feels rage in the pit of her stomach, wants to yell, to scream as hard she can, but she is too terrified to move. With eyes, burning with mournful tears ,Catra simply says:

"Help..."

Entrapta nods and disappears with Hordak down the canyon, leaving them alone together. 

* * *

_I never hated you. You are such an idiot. Yes, I felt hatred when you left me, but it wasn't toward you. It was toward the people who separated us- this stupid robot ghost Light Hope; or your newly found friends- Glitter and Arrow boy. Toward the princesses, toward the Horde; toward Shadow Weaver and that stupid horse of your... toward to world. And toward She-ra. I hated She-ra, but I loved you. The human and friend Adora. For years you were my family- the only person beside me. And then I lost you. But now I have a change to start over and to build future for you. If only you wanted the same thing..._

* * *

"Hey...Catra..."

A voice. The sound of a dying faith through chapped lips. A pair of fearful bluebell eyes. Catra tries to smile, breaths in heavily and looks down.

"Hey Adora..." she answers in a whisper, wiping away some sweat from her love's forehead. Adora stays almost lifeless in her arms, her eyes spontaneously opening without focusing on anything. They stay like that for what feels like years, Catra humming lightly and Adora wheezing in discomfort. 

"Is it beautiful?" Adora suddenly asks in a low voice.

"Yes," Catra answers, stroking Adora's head lovingly. "Everything is so beautiful."

"And everyone is fine?"

"Yes, Adora. Everyone is safe," Catra says, biting her lip and almost drawing blood. "You saved us all. You..."

And Catra breaks down, crying so hard, that it hurts. Her chest craves in and she holds Adora's body closer, almost crushing her. But Adora doesn't react, not even a single move. She just breaths slowly, her eyes staying open halfway, starring at the space. Then, through a small cough, she smiles at Catra. Something small, yet so meaningful. Something so instinctive, but right now so fought for. 

"Catra..." she breaths out. "I am not scared."

"Of course you are not. It will be alright. Your friends are coming. They can help you."

"I love them..." Adora suddenly tells her, as if she hadn't heard her. A faint smile cracks across her chapped lips as she draws a sharp breath, closing her eyes and touching their foreheads. Adora's breath smells like arsenic for some reason. "All of them."

"They know."

"I love you."

"I love you too... So much. Now hold on still. Help is coming. I promise you."

But deep inside Catra knows the truth.

* * *

_I really wish to build a future with you, but will be also grateful if you just let me be part of your life. You did so much for me, so I am ready to spend my every moment by your side, cherishing your victories and celebrating all of your happy moments. Adora, there is so much in front of us. Things will get better. We will be safe._

* * *

"Catra, I am sorry." 

"What for?"

"I am sorry..." Adora repeats deliriously.

"It's alright. Stop apologizing. I forgive you for everything." Catra tells her, brushing some hair from her face. "Are you in pain?"

"I don't want to go. I have so much more work to do..."

"No, you did enough. Everything. It's time for you to rest. I got you."

"Rest..." Adora repeats after her, visibly fighting to stay awake, just for a little longer. Catra grabs her hand, holding it tightly. She tries to make Adora as comfortable as possible, even allowing herself to purr lightly. Adora seems more relaxed at that sound with a ghostly smile on her face. To be honest, absolutely honest, Catra even doesn't catch the exact moment Adora passes away. At some point Adora's head lolls weakly against her shoulder and her chest stops rising or falling. Catra doesn't move, doesn't even cry. She still grips tightly Adora's hand, crushing her body against her own, even if there is no answer. Catra expects to feel sad and enraged, but no such thing; there is only peace and silence. 

"Catra?" someone calls her through heart-wrenching sobs. But she doesn't react and continues to stare into the blank space. Glimmer is suddenly there in front of her, with eyes red from tears. Through her peripheral vision she is able to see Bow's hand, holding Glimmer's shoulder. He is shaking and through the buzzing noise in her ears, she can hear him also crying. 

"She is just resting..." Catra whispers. "I told her to."

* * *

_But life doesn't work that way, does it? We won't get our fairy tale? We just aren't meant to be that lucky. It's so unfair. Why? Why did I just got you back and now have to say my farewell. I can't, Adora. You were always there. And now you will be no longer. Just because of war and someone's thirst for power. But, Adora, I am so proud of you. Even if I wasn't able to tell you. You did so much for everyone. You did everything. You are the hero non of us deserved. And your sacrifice will never be in vain._

_You can rest now. You deserve it. I will stay behind and do your work. I promise you. I hope that one day we will get to meet again and to truly live. But till then I will help the princesses to rebuild Etheria. It will be like this dreamed world, called Heaven, once we finish it. And you will be proud with us._

_Goodbye Adora,_

_Once yours, always yours,_

_Catra_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys...


	3. Timeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're all bad is someone's story. But in Catra's story, there was only one antagonist left- time. Or is it?

_This is where_

_I began to care_

_where I was befriended;_

* * *

There was no true concept of time in the Fright Zone. Just like all of the other cadets, Catra thought of time as just something passing- time was training, sleeping, trying to burden down the wish to throw Shadow Weaver off a cliff. And mostly it was fooling around with Adora, making the lives of other cadets fully miserable. 

And then Adora left and time became Catra's second in command. Time was defined as working on battle plans, trying to minimize all action, because in the same time there was still so much work to be done. The indefinite continued progress of existence, or in Catra's case- her growing potential. She-ra being her stopper, the only person who wasn't part of Catra's time. She was like a stop-by for the feline, because even the approval Catra wanted so much, meant nothing went fighting with She-ra.

And at some point, Catra's whole existence was all about her survival. Every second she was able to buy was one more second of living. And this period finished when she was reunited once again with Adora. And finding comfort in the eyes of her best friend was her reason of secretly daydreaming of the future- time that was going to happen at some point. Once the war was over, they were going to have this peacefully imaginary world, where they will love and be loved; where time wasn't going to mean a thing, because they were going to cherish every single moment.

Once there is peace.

* * *

_This is where_

_my soul was bared_

_where all of my rules were bended;_

* * *

But the war is over. And for Catra time had become a prison. A religion she created for herself to find meaning. Because the person that once gave meaning was no more. Because for five years now, Adora has been dead. 

Trying to survive the loneliness was as hard as grieving. Because suddenly there was a void, there was nothingness. And Catra suffered on her own. The beginning was, almost tolerable, unidentifiable, because she spend it in the unconscious world. It turned out that the poison that killed Adora was also in the feline's bloodstream, just not so much. Probably from the greenish cuts on her ankle. But it was enough to knock her out at some point little after Adora' passing. It didn't hurt- it was even relaxing. Laying on the ground in the middle of the camp, everything around happening in slow motion; the warming sensation in her chest and Catra could almost hear Adora's voice around her. It was a nice reason to go. But the only thing that bothered her back than was Glimmer's pleading for her to not go. That they can not lose her too. Not now. Not soon. 

Then she had no idea what truly took place. She remembered waking up in cold sweat, breathing heavily because of something on her chest, her ankle frozen from the searing pain. Back than everything was blurry, there were voices calling her out, touching her forehead, bandaging her leg, holding her hand. Her leg hurt in the beginning, eventually it was like burning fire and if Catra had any energy, she was ready to cut it away. But she bared with it, simply waiting for it to end in any way. Closing her eyes and waiting, sometimes falling asleep, sometimes coming back to consciousness without actually showing it. It almost felt like she was disconnected from her body. Time passed in a strange rate, because once she will be hearing Scorpia's voice and then suddenly her place will be taken by Glimmer, or Bow, or even once Netosa was there. And most likely all of them thought that she was simple unconscious. They would usually talk to her about what was going around, tell her about how they are getting ready to start rebuilding, that they never celebrated their victory, because they couldn't dare to do so. Sometimes sharing their secrets with her as well. Catra just listened and listened.

But the turning point was when Glimmer came to say goodbye, as if she was allowing her to go if she wanted. To join Adora without feeling bad about leaving her new friends behind.

But Catra fought, because she made a promise. She promised Adora to help rebuild Etheria and she was going to do it. So, ignoring Glimmer's crying in the background, Catra fought for living. Breathing in, breathing out, not giving the throbbing pain in her ankle the power to take her away. Every voiced that talked to her was like a lifeboat, a reason to stay for now. There was deeper ghostly pain in her chest, because she was also grieving for Adora's lost, but even deeper was her primary instinct for survival. 

And one day she knew she was doing well, because she heard Netosa telling her:

"Keep going. You are almost there."

She woke up in darkness, somewhere different from the tent they took her in the first time. She was wet from sweat, her whole body throbbing from an unknown feeling. Her injured leg was covered in bandages, but it didn't hurt. Catra was more concentrated on the sound of rain coming a nearby window. Slowly she realized, that she was in Bright moon, upon seeing the rain hitting the pond, where she once fought the princesses. Where is fought against Adora. 

Adora.

The name that gave meaning to the passing of time. Not a memory, but reason for staying. 

From this point on, Catra was going to cherish only the memories she shared with this person, without being able to create new once. To wait for their reunion. Hopefully soon. Once Catra was done with her mission and she was going to follow her lost love.

Glimmer and Bow found her soaking wet in the rain and they celebrated in a tearful way, hugging her tightly. Thankful that she stayed. But Catra never had the courage to tell them that she survived simply because she had a job to finish. Not for them. But for Adora.

* * *

_This is where_

_a moment we shared_

_was stolen and expended;_

* * *

They told her that time heals. That one day it won't hurt that much. They lied.

Catra believed that she was going to live in peace after waking her from the coma. No such thing. If something she got mad. Angry. 

She hated Horde Prime. She hated Shadow Weaver. She hated the Heart. She hated everyone that she could hold responsible for Adora's death. This also meant Glimmer and Bow, because they weren't there to help. All of the other princesses, the talking horse, king Micah.

She would often talk back at people, explode into an angry fit from the smallest trigger, inhaling air, exhaling hateful comments. She hoped that people will stop talking to her, that they will forget about her and move on with their lives. But they never did. They simple gave her more space. Perfuma even said that her current state a normal part of grief. But what the hell did she meant? Catra wasn't sad. She was angry. And she wanted to punch so hard. So when they decided to destroy the Fright Zone, so they can build a castle for Scorpia, Catra found the chance. She took most part in this, destroying her old home without worry, pushing all of her feelings into this. She felt lost and alone upon taking away the place she had created so many memories with Adora. Unknowingly she was hurting herself, fighting her loneliness on her own. But she never had the right to hurt, because she was alive. Because other people, who were also effected by Adora's passing, where able to move on. It wasn't until Melog found her in tears on the floor of their old bedroom, that Catra was able to comprehend the idea of grieving and that everyone dealt with it differently. 

That was probably the hardest part of her journey. Understanding and accepting Adora's lost, allowing her emotions to take over and even looking for support. And she was able to find it. From the moment she admitted her feeling, the princesses never left her alone. There was always someone there for her, dealing with her rage with nothing else but patience and love. Slowly, but steady, the night time even became bearable. Usually Melog kept her company, purring when she cried, reminding her why she was still around. 

One year later she lost all hope. She wasn't getting any better- just switching her anger with the feeling of helplessness. She had no energy, most of her work was done semi automatically. No longer hungry, no longer craving for help. The only thing that made her going was that Etheria was getting better, just like she promised Adora. They were building villages, she was helping other ex horde soldiers to start new lives. When it marked two year after the end of the war, they decided to celebrate. But Catra didn't have the power to do it, so she never joined the others. Her life became a circle- wake up, do work, go to sleep. Repeat. But once again she was never left alone. Whether it was somebody bringing her food or just staying in the room with her. They would often even listen to Catra's repetitive question of "Why?" and give different answers: Scorpia always hugged her and allowed her to cry; Glimmer would often remain her of the beauties Adora created; Bow mostly stayed silent. For some reason or another, she became very close to Spinneralla and Netossa, who took her under their wings. Usually they would never put up with her depressive states and would make her work in order to get enough tired, so she can at least get hungry. But Catra knew that they were seeing her either side, when one night Spinneralla asked her:

"Do you want to go?"

"What do you mean?"

It was a harsh evening, when they understood that Catra really had suicidal tendencies. She never really gave it a name or tried to find help about it, because it was something that she had in mind the moment when she decided to help rebuild Etheria. Thankfully neither Spinneralla or Netossa made a problem about it and promised to keep it a secret. Surely they were hurt, but they didn't show it. They just became even closer with the feline.

It took Catra five years to finally release those emotions. Five years of denial, of quit rebuild. Etheria was finally once again home- it was seeing it's best times ever. Glimmer stepped down the throne in favor of her father and got engaged to Bow. Her ex teammates started families on their own and Catra even joined the ceremony of Kyle and Rogelio's wedding, as well as drinking away with Lonnie, when her boyfriend broke up with her. Celebrating Scorpia's new kingdom, helping villagers to honor Adora's memory with peace in her heart and once she even played with some unknown kids in a random village- simple game of hide and seek using Melog's powers.

It was nearly six years from the end of the war, that Catra suddenly realized, that her mission was done. She had helped rebuilding Etheria from the first rock. She explored the beauties Adora created. She celebrated the creation of families, she helped getting life better for everyone. And now she only had one more thing to do. Join Adora. But Glimmer stopped her one night, when she announced:

"I am pregnant." Glimmer told her in a both serious and cheerful tone. "And I wanted to ask you if you would want to be like an aunt to the child?"

And for the first time in her life without Adora, Catra cried from happiness, embracing the warm hugs that came her way by Glimmer and Bow. A life was going to be created. Another destiny, another person. And Catra was going to be allowed to be a part of this. She was, in one way or another, going to have a family.

That night Catra went to sleep peacefully, asking only one thing of Adora.

"Wait for me a little bit longer, love."

* * *

_Now this is where_

_this is where_

_this is where we've ended._


End file.
